Too much momentum to stop now;;

New layout?

2008-03-24T03:45:43Z

Meh. I don't know how much I like it, but I like it more than the last one. Plus, I like my new headings better, too.

I've updated a lot of stuff...just not on the computer. I'm afraid to, I think it all sucks. I might post something later, I don't know.

Breathe Again

2008-03-14T12:02:55Z

This is really short...but um. Yeah. Part one of I don't know how many.

Breathe Again

Frank mumbled incoherently as he opened his eyes, quickly shutting them again as the sunlight from the window blinded him. He flopped over and stared at his alarm clock, slowly letting the ungodly hour of the morning sink in. He covered his face with his arm and groaned as he heard a noise from the side of his bed. His cell phone. Sighing, he sat up and leaned over the edge of his bed to grab it. Private number, said the monster in his hand. He sighed again and cleared his throat before he pressed 'talk.'

"Hello?"

"Um... Frank?" There was a rustling noise on the other end of the phone as the stranger waited for a reply.

"Not this early," Frank mumbled.

"Oh... Well then, I, um-"

"Yeah, this is Frank." He leaned back against his headboard, yawning slightly. "Who is this?"

"It's, um... It's Gerard, man, I've got some bad-"

Frank quickly sat up, no longer feeling quite so tired. "Gerard? Why the hell are you calling me? I mean, it's been six years... What do you want?"

"Well, I need to tell-" There was a loud crash and a muffled fuck. "Shit, hang on a minute."

Frank heard a beep and assumed Gerard had put his own phone on silent. He thought about hanging up and going back to sleep, but he knew he wouldn't be able to. As much as he wished Gerard had not called, he wanted to know what was so important that he would contact him after six years of nothing. He rubbed his eyes and stood up, cradling his cell phone between his shoulder and ear as he pulled on a pair of jeans. They weren't exactly clean, but it was a Saturday and he didn't really have anything to do.

He decided to see what was on the television while he waited for Gerard to come back. He looked around his room for the remote before he realized he would have to go turn the TV on himself. Annoyed, he walked over to it and pushed the power button. He started as the phone beeped again.

"You still there?"

"Yeah."

"I need to tell you- Frank, there was an accident. Mikey, um, he was coming home from work late at night and somebody hit him. He's... Mikey... He's dead, Frank, he died that night at the hospital." His voice faded to a whisper near the end of his sentence.

Gerard's words sunk in as Frank stared at the TV screen, not really seeing anything. He tried to say something, but the words just wouldn't come, and honestly, what could he say besides 'you're lying'? He shifted the phone to his other hand.

"I, um. Shit, I don't -"

"Look, Frank, this isn't really something I want to talk about on the phone. Can we meet somewhere? I'm back in town for a little while..."

Frank set his phone down on his bed after he agreed to meet Gerard in an hour. He blinked down at it, wishing he had never answered it. Wishing that Gerard had never called. He stared at himself in the mirror over his bed before looking down at the clothes on the floor. Suddenly, he grabbed a pillow from his bed and threw it as hard as he could at the TV. It didn't do any damage and fell to the ground with a soft 'thump', which only made him feel worse.

"Fuck!" He sat down on his bed, face buried in his hands, and waited until he had to leave to meet with Gerard.

Meh...

Drive, redone!

2008-03-11T09:45:30Z

I finally got around to editing this, and adding more. I changed some things up, so hopefully it's better. I've also decided to post in it in two parts. Even though the ending seems like, well, the end, it's not. Anywho.

Okay, I honestly hate the last few paragraphs of this, except the very last one. Ew. I'll eventually fix it...

Drive

Frank twisted the knob of his car radio, trying to keep the shaking of his hand to a minimum. He glanced at Gerard, who was staring out of the passenger side window, the reflection of his face looking forlorn. Frank turned his eyes back to the road and remained silent as the scenery flashed by. "Too green," he thought. "Well, it's only for a few more days. Then it's back home, where I can erase this entire ordeal from my mind." He sighed as the traffic light in the distance first turned yellow, then red a few seconds later. "How wonderful. Just what I needed, another way to further prolong this hellish car ride." He slowed the car gradually, making a full stop as they approached the intersection.

"So." Frank broke the awkward silence, voice breaking slightly. He cleared his throat and continued, turning to face Gerard again. "You really did it, huh?" He gripped the steering wheel with white knuckles as Gerard looked at him for the first time in the past hour. "I mean, I'm not just imagining that we're driving to Vermont so you can get married. It's not all in my head, right?"

"I'm sorry, Frank." Gerard sighed before he resumed staring out of the window. Not that there was much worth looking at (a few cars and a gray sky), Gerard just found it easier to look at anything but the torn expression on Frank's face.

"You're sorry? Out of everything you could have said, you picked 'I'm sorry'? The least you could do is look at me, Gerard!"

Gerard complied, fixing Frank with a contemptuous glare. "What, Frank, what did you want me to do? Tell her I couldn't be with her because you would object? That I was going to call everything off because Frank didn't approve? How can you blame me for doing what I did? You're so selfish. You're acting like I did something wrong by trying to fix things between us, when you were the one who kept pushing my friendship away! And when I finally realized how far gone it was, I stopped trying." He paused for a moment to calm down, hoping Frank would display some sort of emotion. Nothing. "But whatever," Gerard mumbled as Frank didn't reply. "It doesn't make a difference now."

They drove on for the next hour in silence again, Gerard back to staring out of his window. Part of him desperately wanted to apologize to Frank for yelling at him, but every time the thought came up, he immediately shoved it back down. He hadn't said anything untrue, he certainly was not about to say he was sorry for it. He groaned inwardly as he glanced at the glowing numbers on the dashboard. It was only 11am, so they still had five more hours in the car to suffer through. Despite the length of the trip left, Gerard felt the car slow and turn into the driveway of a convenience store. He gave Frank a questioning look. "Why are you stopping? We still have a few more hours to go."

"Well, unless you want to walk the rest of the way there, I need to put gas in the car," Frank replied mildly as he pulled up in front of the station. "Also, I'm hungry, and there's bound to be something edible in there." Slipping off his seat belt, Frank stepped out of the car and leaned down to pull the lever to open the gas tank cover. Gerard flinched slightly as the car door slammed shut. He sighed as got out of the car, too, and turned to face Frank.

"I'll be back in a few minutes," Gerard said. "I'm going to see if the bathroom is worth using." Frank merely shrugged as he stared down at the car, causing Gerard to grit his teeth as he turned around. Frank waited until he heard the gravel crunching beneath Gerard's shoes grow quieter before he looked up, watching him walk inside. As soon as the doors slide shut behind his friend, Frank laid his head on top of the chilled roof of the car, idly watching cars speed by on the freeway while he waited for the gas to finish pumping. He closed his eyes and let his thoughts wander, ending up, as usual, on Gerard. He must have zoned out for a minute, because Gerard was suddenly at his side, shaking his shoulder and asking him what was wrong.

Frank picked his head up and sniffed because of the cold air. "Nothings wrong, Gerard." He placed the pump back in its holder and reattached the gas cap. "I'm just tired." He started to walk back to the front door, but stopped when he felt Gerard's hand on his chest, pushing him back first against the car.

"Then why are you crying, Frank?"

Frank sniffed again as he raised his hand to feel his cheek. "Fuck, those really are tears..."

"I'm not crying," he mumbled, staring down at the ground.

"Do you have any idea how much you frustrate me, Frank?"

Frank's eyes flashed with anger and he shoved Gerard away from him. "I frustrate you? Oh, that's a new one! I'm not the one who asked somebody to marry them as an escape. I'm not the one who stopped trying to 'fix things.' And I'm definitely not the one who asked their best friend to drive them to Vermont for this fucked up situation! No, Gerard, I'm the one who gets tossed away after tonight. I'm the one who gets nothing out of this except grief. And guess what? I'm the one who has to drive home alone in the morning because there's no way I can stay and watch you throw your life away. Best man or not, I can't, and I just won't." He caught Gerard's eyes and sighed as he said nothing. "Do not talk to me about frustration, Gerard. Just get in the fucking car. We'll talk about things tonight in the hotel room. Thanks to your mother, I have no excuse not to stay at least the night."

Gerard slowly walked around the car and got inside in silence. Frank sighed as he shut his own door and started the car, prepared to drive the next few hours listening to his thoughts. "Don't," he said suddenly as Gerard opened his mouth to speak. "Don't say you're sorry, Gerard, just don't."

It was a quiet drive.

I reiterate myself... EW.

100 Themes

2008-01-26T11:35:30Z

Yep, I'm starting a 100 Themes Challenge. Hopefully, it'll spark some inspiration. That, and I'm bored at 5:30 in the morning.

1. Introduction
2. Love
3. Light
4. Dark
5. Seeking
6. Break Away
7. Heaven
8. Innocence
9. Drive
10. Breathe Again
11. Memory
12. Insanity
13. Misfortune
14. Smile
15. Silence
16. Question
17. Blood
18. Rain
19. Gray
20. Stare
21. Vacation
22. Nature
23. Hospital
24. No Time
25. Trouble
26. Tears
27. Foreign
28. Sorrow
29. Happiness
30. In the Rain
31. Flowers
32. Night
33. Expectations
34. Stars
35. Hold My Hand
36. Lonely
37. Eyes
38. Abandon
39. Dreams
40. Rated R
41. Teamwork
42. Standing Still
43. Dying
44. Two Roads
45. Illusion
46. Family
47. Creation
48. Childhood
49. Stripes
50. Breaking the Rules
51. Winter
52. Deep in Thought
53. Keeping a Secret
54. Sound
55. Waiting
56. Danger
57. Sacrifice
58. Physical
59. No Way Out
60. Find Out
61. Fairy Tale
62. Magic
63. Do Not Disturb
64. Movies
65. Horror
66. Traps
67. Playing a Melody
68. Here and Now
69. Annoyance
70. 75%
71. Obsession
72. Mischief
73. I Can't
74. Are You Challenging Me?
75. Mirror
76. Broken Pieces
77. Test
78. Reaction
79. Starvation
80. Words
81. Pen and Paper
82. Can You Hear Me?
83. Heal
84. Mystery
85. Spiral
86. Drama
87. Nightmare
88. Pain
89. Through the Fire
90. Triangle
91. Drowning
92. All I Have
93. Given Up
94. Last Hope
95. Split in Two
96. Calm Before the Storm
97. Invisible
98. Puzzle
99. Solitude
100. Truth and Lies

New LJ.

2008-01-25T04:46:03Z

Woohoo.

Well, anyway.
Unconditional.

That's the title of my newest story. It definitely isn't done yet, but who knows? Maybe I'll actually finish it :]

This is just the beginning part of chapter one, sooo. Be warned, it hasn't been beta'd, and it was written in the early hours of the morning. ~~4am.~~ It sucks now, but I'll be editing and adding to it.

chapter one.

For a 25 year-old living in New York City, Gerard knew that his life was pretty boring. In fact, he would probably be the first one to say it. He didn't mind, of course, because boring was safe. His life was rather predictable, and he liked it that way. He would wake up every morning at 6a.m., put on a pot of coffee, shower, and the read paper while enjoying his morning pick-me-up until 7a.m.. Then Gerard would make his two biggest decisions of the day; which flavor of pop-tarts (cherry or strawberry), and which color tie he would wear to work. He would then slip on his shoes, grab his wallet and car keys, and make his way to the parking lot of the apartment complex.

After nine hours of working at the local brokerage firm, minus his half hour lunch, Gerard would straighten up his desk and head home, where he would enjoy his quiet dinner. The weekends were not much different, and Gerard just worked at home instead of going up to his office. He never thought about doing anything differently because his life was going just the way he wanted: normal. Until the morning of the fifth of January, that is. The day that everything in his life changed drastically. And even though he hates change, looking back now, nearly a year and a half later, Gerard knows he wouldn't trade any of it for the world.

Ahhh, the corny-ness of that last part...*headdesk*